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The Birds and the Bees
A Happier Sex Life
By Sha Kokken.
For those that haven't had the "Sex
Talk" yet, this book takes great pains to angle obscure wooden
artists' models into 420 photos demonstrating all the different
sex positions imaginable. Much like a buffet, you can mix and
match positions until you are stuffed. Oddly enough, though, Barbie
and Ken are photographed separately, forcing the reader into an
adult version of dolls.
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Judging just from the cover, I'm not
sure if this is talking about the act of sex or simply gender.
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This is the back and no more clues here,
this looks sexless to me. Isn't sex about getting in touch
with your partner?
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What have we here? "Man-Sitting
Positions"? But these are wooden artists' models...they
look as if they are performing calisthenics? Well, let's
see, the darker wooden figure is facing one way...and the
lighter figure is facing the other...wow, that looks uncomfortable.
Well, you might be if you were to do
what the picture suggests...!
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Oh, no..."Rear-Entry Positions"!
That symbol up there looks like the rewind button on my
VCR. What are these figures up to? This looks more like
modern dance than it looks like modern sex life.
And they said we had a sexual revolution?
This looks like it went back to the Dark Ages!
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Okay, this looks a little more specific.
So you rotate your pelvis just so and...!
This is called sex? If I didn't know
any better I'd be clueless!
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Wait this looks interesting...M' W...W'
M...are these compass directions? That might be more useful
than these photos. Or how about a map with arrows, you know,
with little footprints like they do in dance class? When
do they ever touch each other? Or do men do it in the day
when women do it at night? I am totally lost at this point.
If I have to rely on books like this
for my education, I'll never have any sex!
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Perhaps I should work on my
"Good" Christian Life instead!
next—Life
and Love: A Christian View of Sex
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